May Angels Lead You In

Hear You Me - Jimmy Eat World

You were set free. You were carried by the wind and you faded away. You only exist now in my memories and in the shadows of your forest.

Singing for you was fulfilling, but I'll admit also the hardest thing I've ever done. Midway through I wanted to yell for you, and fall to my knees in agony. And here I thought I would be fine and make it through unaffected. I still think of you everyday, yet I thought I had reached acceptance. But I'm learning now that acceptance means nothing. Agreeing that your passing is a reality does little for the soul and calms not one of my raging emotions.

Driving through the mountains without the promise of seeing you on the other side of the range seemed pointless to me for the longest time. Having to make the long drive that once ended in bliss now was torture to me. I guess you knew. Two trips ago i was driving through the smokies, and for some reason had the sudden urge to turn off my AC and roll down every window possible. The smell of the mountains surrounded me, and my mind wandered to distant times. And then I felt you. As if you were sitting in the passenger seat enjoying the mountain air right along with me. I smiled. And I've felt you with me ever since.

I think you have blessed me with the new found happiness I've found in our home state of North Carolina. There is no you, and for that reason it can never be the same. But I feel as if you wanted me to continue to love this land and return frequently if not for you then for myself. I can't stay away now. I'm addicted to the feeling of you driving along with me as I race towards the magnet that again has taken hold of me.